L.E.A.D. - Leadership: Education & Discipleship

At our core, we have a deep desire to be noticed. To be known. To be valued for who we are and what we do. When we don't feel loved and appreciated, our self-worth and performance drops. Sometimes we even feel invisible - so do others. And as leaders, we've been entrusted with a powerful ability to deeply impact and motivate those around us. 

 

Organizations are social structures, created to multiply the talents and skills of people, at rates exponentially higher than could be achieved individually.  So why do so many people and organizations underperform?  Why are only 13% of employees engaged and why do so many merely tolerate their jobs? Why are so many offices toxic?  

  

A key reason is that our leaders lack love.

About now, you may be debating whether to continue reading. I realize I just went off the rails a bit. But the reality is that love does equate to greater performance, ROI, and job satisfaction.

 

Leadership is Love

 

I remember the first time it happened to me. I was walking down a very narrow hallway of the mid-sized organization I worked for. I suddenly realized the CFO was walking towards me. Because we'd never met, I became a bit nervous, afraid I'd say something stupid. As it turns out I shouldn't have been. As he approached me, he tucked his head down, focused on his shoes and strolled right by me.  I was stunned and hurt; I hoped he was simply busy or having an off-day. But then it happened again, and then again. I quickly realized it wasn't just him - it was part of the culture. Common dignity and courtesy were replaced with status and elitism. My stint in that organization was brief. Their corporate performance was, and is, abysmal.

 

The other day, a friend was sharing about a prior supervisor she had poured herself out for. She thought they were close, but as soon as he was promoted it was as if he didn't know her. "I wandered if he ever cared about me, or simply used me to get his new job," she lamented.

 

Leadership is Love

 

This "love" should not be confused with romantic feelings or strong positive sentiments, such as mine towards cheeseburgers. For leaders, love is seeking the best interests of those around you, even if and when it comes at a personal cost.  Love is about caring for, and demonstrating that care, for others - at times like an extended family.  Think about your favorite boss; odds are, they demonstrated this type of love toward you. 

 

Here are a few practical tips for starters:
 

• Acknowledge others' presence. It can be a simple smile, head-nod (more a guy thing), handshake, or "hello," ("hallo" as my African friends say it).  For those on your team, a great practice is developing a daily habit of walking around the cubes and greeting each person by name. It doesn't have to take long; this simple act goes a long way and people take notice!

• Seek to make others better, and their lives easier.  It's easy to have people scurry about to accomplish your needs.  But when was the last time you genuinely sought to lighten the load, pitch in and make someone else's day better? Are you seeking to develop your staff, particularly the things core to their passions?

• Make Sacrifices. Sometimes this is simply being vulnerable and sharing a part of yourself. Sometimes it is putting your neck on the line for someone else. Other times it means being willing to miss a deadline to release a person to deal with a problem at home.

• Be generous with praise! People need affirmation and encouragement. The cost is incredibly low. Be specific, as in, "I noticed you how you handled that difficult customer, well done."

• Be truthful; have the difficult conversations when necessary - No one likes to think they're doing well when they are not, or that they are adding value when their usefulness has passed. But often, through fear, we don't deal with hard truths because we are more concerned with ourselves than loving those we need to engage.  Have a hard conversation. Tell the truth. But do so lovingly.

It's that moment when you are standing at a precipice, looking out into the unknown. Your heart is beating hard. Your adrenaline has kicked in. You know the step you want to take. But fear makes you pause. 

We all know this moment. It is when our minds flood with the "what ifs."  What if I'm wrong? What if I fail? What if others laugh at me? What if others are hurt by this?  It is also the moment when we consider the "what could be's."  What could be, if this is the right decision?  What could be, if I do move forward?

Leadership is Courageous

The opposite of courage is not fear; it is paralysis, the inability to move in any direction. Leadership requires movement. But movement requires courage. Therefore, whether personally or organizationally, moving forward requires courageous leadership.

Courage is often spoken of only in terms of big decisions. Betting the farm, bold decisions with massive consequences. But courage is also in smaller, everyday decisions. Will I speak up? Will I confront an issue? Courage is when we know the risk and fear the consequences, yet press forward with a resolve that says, "I must; I will, regardless of the outcome; because it is the best thing to do."

Courage is a leadership trait that must be developed. We must be courageous in the small decisions before we can lead forward in the big ones. Here are some ways to grow your courage. 

1. Speak up - Think of a recent time you held back when you knew you should have spoken. Challenge yourself to speak up the next time you are in this situation.

2. Speak out - For many, confrontation is terrifying.  But healthy relationships and healthy organizations are impossible without it.  Is there someone you need to lovingly, but truthfully, confront? Speak out.  (Here are some quick tips on how: Crucial Conversations)

3. Step up - Volunteer for a difficult assignment, one that you are interested in but are not sure you can do - and are pretty sure someone else can do better. The first time is hard, but it gets easier with practice.

4. Step out - Courage requires vulnerability.  Make a hard decision that you believe in. Share your reasons and your decision making process.

5. Stand firm - Leaders are always second-guessed. There will always be naysayers. Learn to trust and own your decisions, regardless of what others might say or do.  

"Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."  Joshua 1:9

Leadership Starts with Character

In the last decade we have been witness to very public moral failings at every level of leadership. We've seen families, churches, governments and organizations crumble in the wake. Yet worse, are the lives that have been shattered and torn apart. It’s no wonder why trust for leaders is so low and cynicism runs so high.

We know it, we see it, some of us have even been (tragically) front row participants.  We know that we are all flawed moral beings. We make mistakes.

But we’ve also seen those who stand apart, seemingly above and against this tide. We marvel at their courage, their conviction, their fortitude in the face of temptation, criticism and challenge. And ultimately, we applaud them wondering what it is that makes them different?

Leadership Starts with Character

Easy right? Just add a little character and we’ll have great leaders. The problem is that character development is a slow process. It’s an intentional process. It goes against our grain. It goes against our nature. There is no shortcut. Character building requires hard work. It requires that we deny ourselves for a greater good with rewards that we either often can’t see or can’t see now. We question: is it worth it? 

Character used to be a prominent component of our collective worldview. Leadership thinking and education centered on it (Cain, Covey). But in the last century our focus has shifted towards personality based leadership. The prevailing view and teaching is that charisma, command, elegance, appearance, presence, positivity and the like are the keys to successful leadership. Our coffee mug is shiny on the outside but years of decay and rings of hollowness stain the inside.  

Most of us can keep up the personality charade for a while. Some for a long time. But the reality is that eventually the mask begins to crack under the weight of deception. Others often know the reality, but play along or simply try to avoid us. But whether through a major moral failing or just the disillusionment of it all, the masquerade crumbles and we are left to pick up the pieces.

Leadership Starts with Character

So what is the answer? It’s twofold. First, we must aggressively seek to develop character in our own hearts and lives. It is a slow process. There is no quick fix to character. It is etched over the trials of time and hard victories won along the way. It requires having a vision for what character looks like. Write it out. Who do you want to be? When you die, who do you want people to remember you as? Then daily, seek to make choices that align to your goal. Acknowledge and apologize for your gaps because they will happen. Get a partner to share truth with you but who also fully accepts you and adds what you are lacking to support your growth. (See growth and character)

Second, promote people of character vs. the flashy performer. Yes, they must be competent. But in the long-run, a person of deep character, with sufficient competence will run circles in performance around the person who is willing to do whatever it takes to get ahead.      

But is it worth it? In the end, leaders make a world of difference. When leaders fail; they aren’t the only ones that suffer. We all suffer. Your family needs you to lead and follow through on your promises. It matters to them and makes a world of difference. When you fail, they break. Your friends need you to lead and to be 100% truthful. They need to believe that you’ve got their back. Your church and school and organization need you to lead and serve, even when it’s inconvenient. Your business needs you to lead and to walk in integrity even when it might cost you. Why? Because leadership matters. Leaders inspire hope and restore faith. The release others to fulfill their potential. And when people walk in fullness they lead and inspire hope in others and the world rejoices.